In the end …

As I began my work day, a notice flashed on the screen: “Linkin Park singer dead, Los Angeles coroner says.”

To be honest, I didn’t know Chester Bennington’s name until today. I just knew him as the Linkin Park singer. I knew how much I admire his vocal ability. The raw emotion that flowed out of him made the lyrics of Linkin Park’s songs so easy to take in. The pain and triumph expressed in songs such as “Lost in the Echo” and “In the End” carried me through many runs and rough patches in my life. They are songs to cry to, to dance to with the kids (They really liked it when Linkin Park’s “In the End” was in the cartoon, “The Amazing World of Gumball”), and to cheer yourself up. They are everything — real, honest, joy, pain. …

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In my Instagram account, mtnmamarunning, I recently shared a Linkin Park reference. I know it wasn’t my first and definitely won’t be my last.

If you follow this blog any, even through the Instagram and Facebook page, you’ve seen several references to Linkin Park lyrics.  As soon as I hear the new release, “Heavy,” I thought that they could have written it about me.

“I drag around what’s bringing me down, If I just let go I’ll be set free.”

Yep. That’s me and all the stuff I obsess about. All the heavy things, I run, meditate, yoga and what-not to let them go. Yet, they still sit there under the surface just waiting for a chance to resume their tasks of weighing me down.

As a fan, I mourn Bennington’s death. As an adult who as a child had a relative commit suicide (I didn’t learn the truth until I was in college), I understand the pain and confusion his children may feel and how it will affect them. As a friend of someone who has committed suicide, I understand the sorrow of his band members and those whose lives have crossed his.

As someone who has dealt with depression for about 30 years, I know the dark paths the mind can take people down. For those who are reading this and are struggling, you can reach me in the comments.

For those who are battling his or her demons and feel like the battle will be lost, there are resources available to help.

  • The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 1-800-273-8255.
  • Veterans Crisis Line, 1-800-273-8255 and Press 1, chat online, or send a text message to 838255 to receive confidential support 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

 

 

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